108 months. 108 months without hearing your voice. 108 months without being able to hug you or kiss your forehead. 108 months of not feeling you muscle-block me in passing.
I have a book to write-someday.
But my mind is chaos. The carousel of memories spins and spins, and sometimes it stops—just long enough to drop me back into a moment, a feeling, a flash of you. Then it’s gone, swallowed by tears. By grief. By the kind of grief that is so deep it drags me under.
I cannot explain the depth. It’s darkness. It’s suffocation. My reach out just barely breaking through. And yet-somehow-something grabs my hand, pulls me back, reminds me to breathe.
It’s a repetitive thing, this rhythm of life. A cycle of ache and reprieve. Bittersweet suffering. The suffering that proves the love I have for you. It describes what cannot be broken, even by death. If I did not suffer, it would mean that I did not love. Love-the evidence of how deeply you are woven into me.
Today I decorated the Christmas tree. It should have been done sooner, but I’ve been stuck in the mindset of not moving forward.
Today I display your flags. A flag that honors the young man who stood tall in his dress blues, who carried the weight of service heavier than anyone should. A flag that remembers not just the Marine, but the son, the brother, the friend who gave pieces of himself until there was nothing left to give. And a flag that tells the world you are forever in heaven standing among warriors of light.
Nine years gone. Nine years of silence where your voice should be. Nine years of grief that never lets go.
The tree glows, the flags fly, and I sit here in ache-holding you in memory, in love, in honor-as the tears continue to drop.
You are remembered, Morgan.
Your comedic personality.
Your kindness, inspiration, and encouragement to family, friends, and strangers.
Your beautiful smile and the Herbert impression.
Your love for amphibians.
Your Gainz and dedication to self-improvement.
The nerdy side of you enthralled with Pokémon, Magic, and D&D.
And the countless other things-your smile, your voice, your strength-millions of fragments that made you whole and made you unforgettable.
I loved you then, I love you still, and I always will.
Semper Fi Morgan ~ Mom
Daly Chronicles 